Christmas in the Alice

"Christmas in the Alice" relates to Christmas in the town of "Alice Springs" in the Northern Territory. Tennant Creek is another town in the Territory.

Christmas in the Alice is like no other place I know
Santa doesn't like it much 'cause there isn't any snow
His reindeer get all grumpy as the waterholes go dry
For when it's stinkin' hot down here its bloody hard to fly


Dressed up like a polar bear isn't very wise
His nose gets even redder and the sweat runs in his eyes
Once he nearly missed us and his nose began to freak
By the time he turned the whole thing 'round, he'd got to Tennant Creek


He always seems to make it and he's full of Christmas cheer
For when he's finally landed he's guaranteed a beer
He leaves behind his presents with a cheery ho ho smile
Then they pour him back upon his sled and off he roars in style


Now someone once asked him if he'd ever lived in fear
Of ever being caught one day drunk in charge of deer
He gave a little chuckle with a twinkle in his eye
You may have cops with bags down here but none of them can fly


And then there was this rumour, or so I've heard it said
He once used six white boomers to pull along his sled
He thought it was a good idea while travelling in the bush
But they hopped of in the scrub one day and left him there to push


So if you should spend Christmas out in Alice Springs
Be very well prepared mate for some bloody funny things
Big fat men in polar suits screaming across the sky
And sweaty grumpy reindeers complaining as they fly


Through all the dust the flies the heat and every thing it brings
Carrying all the pressies out back to Alice Springs
I told to you this story 'cause I thought you all should know
Santa doesn't like it much 'cause there isn't any snow